An Unfortunate Incident by Hilary Taylor

“Erm….well….aaah….yes!” He stood, looking perplexed. “Why are you upside down?” “Well Officer; that’s a very good question! I was just hanging around here as my friends were late for a meeting, and decided to have a mooch around – pass the time you know? And then, it just happened – must have stepped into a loop of rope and……WHAM! BAM! CRASH! There I was hanging here upside down!” Could you be so kind as to cut me down? I’m starting to get a bit dizzy.” 

“I’m not sure I can do that Sir! We had a call saying someone had broken into the Church… I have reason to believe that was you!” 

“Not me Officer, the doors were open and the light on – maybe the person who left this rope for me to step into! By the way – what’s your name?” 

“PC 449 Roberts, and I’m going to have to arrest you, just not quite sure how I do that with you being upside down! Think I’ll wait for backup! Can I have your name Sir?” “PC Roberts eh? Good, good! My name is De’Ath.” 

“As in…….?” 

“Yes! Now please cut me down, I have a schedule and I’m going to be late.” “I rather think being arrested will make you late Sir!” 

“Hmmm, OK, but just cut me down!” 

“Just promise not to cause bother!” And with that he took out his penknife and climbed onto the plinth to reach the rope more easily. 

As the 8 ton bell came hurtling down to crush the policeman, De’Ath brushed himself down, and strolled over to check his handywork. 

“Yep, I was hanging around waiting for you Officer Roberts, your time was up! Bang on schedule! Now where are Plague, War and Famine, they’re late!” 

Published in Issue #9

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