The two men waded ashore. “Now we are marooned on this island with no food, water or shelter, “said Bear into the camera.
A jet ski whizzed by in the background and an audible “shit” from the cameraman was heard as he took evasive action. “What’s the priority?” Bear asked the minor celebrity.
“A hotel?” came the hopeful reply. It wasn’t a joke but Bear laughed as though he was in the company of the world’s funniest comedian instead of a quiz show host. “This is the wild and we only have one hour to sunset.”
“But what about…?” started the minor celebrity pointing down the coastline to somewhere off camera.
“We could be here a while,” interrupted Bear tactfully. “We need shelter, food and to get a fire going as a signal. Let’s go and explore.”
Bear bounded off into the forest. The minor celebrity skulked after him into the undergrowth.
The fir tree had fallen fortuitously into a horizontal position. “The wind must have blown it over,” said Bear. The camera shot missed off the base of the tree where an efficient chainsaw cut was the culprit. “All the branches on this side must have been knocked off in the fall, so we already have a neat shelter that just needs a few roof repairs. We can use the canvas sail we salvaged from the wreck. The minor celebrity looked in askance as a sheet was thrown into shot.
“Right, dinner is next”. On cue; a faint rustling could be heard and Bear leapt onto a pile of twigs and caught a piebald lab-rat with his bare hands as though wrestling an alligator. He twisted its neck.
Later, Bear tempted the man with Rat Stew. “Yours should be good.”
“Why?” he asked.
“You haven’t got the guts.”
Published in Issue #16