Mistaken Identity by Madelaine Taylor

"I watched as she drowned.” 

“You did what?” 

“Yeah, it was kinda weird really. We grabbed her as she was treating Old Bobby’s gammy leg. Heh, that was a stroke of genius really, she never saw it coming. Her hand was covered in that gunk she carries round, eye of newt and all that stuff.” 

“You mean the Volatarol?” 

“Yeah, the Voldemort stuff… evil. Anyway, we waited til her hands were all slippy with the stuff and she was bent over Old Bobby and we put a pillowcase over her head so she couldn’t see who we were! Then, we tied her up and pushed her in the back of Jack’s Cortina and drove to the pond.” 

“You kidnapped the community nurse? In the back of Jack’s Clapped out old car?” “Well we couldn’t carry her! Besides, if we didn’t tie her up and put her on the back seat she’d’ve gotten free and who knows what’d happen then!” 

“Well, I’d imagine she’d have hobbled away and probably called the police.” “Yeah or the devil or some weird demon or something.” 

“Or, you know… Just the police.” 

“Yeah, the demon cops. Anyway we couldn’t risk her putting a curse on us so we took her to the pond and pushed her in. Right in the deep part. We reckoned she’d float, cos they do you know, and we were waiting with a load of sticks and some petrol. It was kinda a shock when she just sank. We weren’t expecting that.” 

“You weren’t expecting a sixty year old woman, with a walking stick, who’s hands and ankles you tied together to sink in the pond?” 

“Yeah, it was a total surprise they’re s’posed to float.” 

“She’s a nurse, Boris, not a witch! A nurse! Medicine isn’t demonic magic!” 

Published in Issue #9

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