Size Matters by Gloria Curl

The doctor stood back, stroking his chin, eyebrows raised. Gerald cocked his head in expectation of a response. He was feeling uncomfortable; the scrutiny had gone on for longer than he'd anticipated, and he could feel the colour rising in his already ruddy cheeks. "That's the biggest I've seen," ventured the doctor. He looked up and faced Gerald. "The biggest ever, Doc?" 

"Absolutely, Gerald. In all my days, I've never seen one as big as this. How do you manage it?" Gerald had been anticipating this very question and had his answer prepared. "Well, some envious people would say I'm lucky, but it's not that simple. As a doctor, you know that we have to take care of our bodies to get the best out of them. It's just the same with me." "But the weight of it, Gerald, I'm surprised you can even get hold of it." 

"Well, that's not been a problem until today. It was a bit awkward coming here, I must admit." "I saw you struggling in the car park earlier; must have been hard." 

"It was, Doc. I'm sure a bit was peeking out, even though I was trying to keep it hidden." "Well, one that size, what can you expect, eh?" The doctor winked knowingly. Gerald began to feel more at ease; the doctor was a kindly soul and had that knack about him for settling nerves. "You think it's alright then? The wife's been pestering me about it for ages." "It's a perfect specimen, Gerald, be proud." The doctor took his pen and wrote out the card. "Thanks Doc, you've made my day," Gerald beamed, "the wife'll drop a pie round to you once we put the knife in." 

"Always a pleasure to judge the giant vegetables, Gerald, and your pumpkins's a cracker.”

Published in Issue #19

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